How to Avoid Confrontational Fireworks in Your Relationships

fireworks

Lives of Style’s DatingSpeak ™ ©2015 addresses questions about dating, relationships and communication.

Our Lives of Style authority–Laura Pugliese, shares must-know dating “Do’s and Don’ts” that will help you find success in your relationships.

Lives of Style: A man who I have dated four times asked me to be his girlfriend. I’m not that attracted to him but he’s very successful and we have “nice” dates. What should I say to him because I’m not sure he’s the one?

Laura: In order to have a mutually fulfilling relationship there needs to be an equitable amount of chemistry, compatibility, honesty, and the ability to communicate and negotiate with each other. It sounds to me like you do like this man, but you don’t feel the romantic chemistry at this time necessary to commit yourself to him in a relationship.
If you were a man I would suggest ending it at t his point because men are designed to know right away if they find a woman physically attractive. Women are built differently. It doesn’t happen in every case, but as a woman it is sometimes possible to become more attracted to a man over time as you get to know him.

However, since he is asking you to be his girlfriend right now, he deserves to know where you stand currently. You could say, “I want to talk with you about what you asked me in regards to wanting me to be your girlfriend.  Is now a good time?” Wait for him to say, “Yes.” Then you can say, “I like you and enjoy our dates. I also respect you and want to be completely honest with you. At this time I do not feel a strong enough romantic chemistry to accept becoming your girlfriend. I do not know if the chemistry will develop more over time or not, and I do not want to be deceitful or lead you on. I understand completely if you do not want to take that risk and continue to date me knowing this. What are your thoughts about what I am telling you?”

Handle Any Dating Dilemma Ease

First Date

Lives of Style’s DatingSpeak ™ ©2015 addresses questions about dating, relationships and communication.

Our Lives of Style authority–Laura Pugliese, shares must-know dating “Do’s and Don’ts” that will help you find success in your relationships.

Lives of Style: My current #1 is Dan. He just texted that he is free on Sunday night or Monday for lunch. It’s easier for me to go on a date on a Sunday night than slipping away from the office to have a lunch date however I have daytime plans on Sunday with another man. Should I change the plans to be available for my date on Sunday night because I don’t like to have two dates in one day?

Laura: You can certainly change the daytime Sunday plans if you want to, however I want you to consider a few important things. You are still in the stage of dating where you are accepting dates with various men and have not been asked to be exclusive yet. With that in mind, the gentleman who asked you out for Sunday during the day made a point to secure a date with you first, which indicates that it was a priority. Although you have ranked Dan as your #1, since he has not yet asked you to date him exclusively we have no way of knowing at this time where you rank with him. Rankings with men can change depending on each experience you have getting to know them, how strongly the chemistry builds between you, how much they make seeing you a priority, and how they treat you.

Integrity caries energy as well, therefore it is my opinion that it would be best to keep your word and honor the date you agreed to with the gentleman for Sunday during the day. As for Dan, if you really want to see him also, then say “yes’ to the date on Sunday evening and accept that you will have a full day and evening, or meet him for lunch on Monday. Think about which of the two dates with Dan would feel more comfortable, and pick that one.

Michael Canale Shares Best Summer Hair Color Trends

Jennifer Aniston Summer Hair

As a master colorist, in the business for over 30 years, Michael Canale is renowned for creating natural sun-streaked hair and classic blonde shades that get raves.

One of Hollywood’s most sought-after colorists, Canale’s clients have included movie star royalty like Jennifer Aniston, Cameron Diaz, Penelope Cruz, Heidi Klum, Carolyn Murphy, Carmen Electra, Denise Richards and more.

Canale is a staple on Allure’s “Best of the Best” as a superior hair colorist who “lightens blondes to a baby-like perfection.”

Canale shares tips to get summer-worthy locks that will have you looking ready for the beach.

Lives of Style: Summer is almost here. Can you change your hair color for the season?

Canale: Yes! You can move your color for the season. The looks I am creating are summer worthy. I start moving my clients into summer colors in the middle of spring. It is a natural blonding effect.

Lives of Style: What are the hottest hair color trends for summer?

Canale: It’s the sun-kissed blond. I give my clients more pop around the face and then use the sun to work with us to remove the oxidation. A lot of hair cannot handle us pulling bleach through to the ends so we use the sun to remove the dullness of oxidation. It is a gradual lightening to get you into a position where your ends are lightened by the sun so your hair doesn’t break off and it looks great.

Lives of Style: Is there anything you can do at home to get your ends looking more sun-kissed?

LEAP to Success. The Leap Foundation helps Motivate America’s Youth

Leap Foundation

What does it take to be more successful? That’s a question many of us ask ourselves each year.

Students ranging from grades 9-12 and young adults 18-24 have a chance to get exposure to groundbreakers in various fields.

For over 20 years, the Leadership, Excellence, Accelerating Potential Foundation (LEAP) has been working with students across the country to expose them to leaders in various industries to give them skills for successful living.

Grammy winning artist Usher, Actress Eva Longoria, Actor Seth Green, Actress Neicy Nash, LEAP Founder Dr. Bill Dorfman, James Malinchak Author of “Chicken Soup for the College Soul” have participated in LEAP Foundation sharing their experience and inspiration to the next generation.

Seth Green told participants, “The best advice I ever heard was to never quit. I know that it sounds really simple but it is exactly that simple, you can’t really fail if you don’t quit.”

The 2015 LEAP Foundation Program runs from July 12th through the 18th at UCLA’s Westwood Campus. The LEAP High School Program (grades 9–12) and The LEAP Young Adult Program (18-24 year olds) run concurrently during the week and have the same core-curriculum.

Participants of the program learn about goal sharing, professionalism, mentorship, effective communication, self-motivation and other techniques so they can acquire skills needed to achieve great success at an early age.

One element of the program is the Mentor roundtables where over 100 leaders in various industries are available to provide the keys to their success to participants.

Celebrity Hair Colorist Michael Canale, known for Jennifer Aniston’s beautiful hair color, said, “We wanted to participate actively with the Leap Foundation to build community and empower the youth to follow their dreams and do something great and impactful for the world.”

If you want to find out more information about the Leap Foundation’s Program visit http://leapfoundation.com/.

For more follow Lives of Style on InstagramFacebook & Twitter to win prizes!  And check out more at The Last Word.

How to be a Good Communicator with Your Husband

Husband and Wife

Lives of Style’s DatingSpeak ™ ©2015 addresses questions about dating, relationships and communication.

Our Lives of Style authority–Laura Pugliese, shares must-know dating “Do’s and Don’ts” that will help you find success in your relationships.

Lives of Style: My husband and my step-son (who is 28) are really close but they haven’t really let me in to their club. I have been married only a few months and recently when we went on vacation my husband told his son that he could stay at our house without checking with me. I didn’t find out until I came home and saw that the guest bed was slept in. I bothered me but I don’t know if I should say anything because I don’t want to cross boundaries. What can I do or do I just do nothing?

Laura: It is fair to want to know ahead of time when someone is going to be staying over your house. If you don’t address it at all you risk carrying resentment towards your husband the next time he does it. You can say to your husband,  “I want to talk to you about something that occurred recently because I realized we have not discussed. Is now a good time?”  Wait for him to say, “Yes.” Then you can say, “It became apparent to me that someone stayed over in our house while we were away when I noticed that the guest bed appeared to have been slept in. I want you to know that I have absolutely no objections to you letting your kids stay at our home while we were away, but it did not feel good to me that I was not aware of it beforehand. What are your thoughts about us making an agreement that in the future if one of us is going to offer the house to anyone to stay in while we are away that we first let each other know the plan, so we both are informed of what going on ahead of time?”

Lives of Style: I had to have dental surgery and I told my husband that I needed him to take me to the dentist’s office and pick me up because I wasn’t allowed to drive. He did but when we got home he went out with his friends. We spoke about it later and he said that I was just going to sleep so he didn’t see what the big deal was. That did not feel good even though I did sleep the rest of the night. I might have to have another surgery and I don’t know if he can be my care giver. What can I say to him?

Laura: You asked your husband clearly to take you to the dentist and to pick you up, and he did both. You did not ask him to stay with you, so he did not know that you wanted him to do that. Everyone thinks differently, and he may be the type to be fine with being alone when he isn’t feeling well physically. It is always best to keep communicate clearly and thoroughly. Since you did not ask him to stay with you the last time I suggest sticking to the current request for the next time.

You can say, “Honey, I have something I want to ask you to do for me. Is now a good time?” Wait for him to say, “Yes.”  Then you can say, “I was thinking about the dental surgery I have coming up on (insert date), and I want to ask you to stay with me to help me once I get home. I feel sensitive to being alone afterwards. What are your thoughts about doing that?”

Lives of Style:  I was at a party last weekend with a bunch of my husband and my college friends. We’ve know each other for years and we are all very friendly. I found myself angry and jealous because my husband and one of our friend’s wives were dirty dancing. He saw my face and ran over to me laughing that we are all just having fun but it didn’t feel fun to me. He does this kind of thing every once in a while and I never know what to do. I just clam up and don’t feel like being intimate with him. What can I say?

Laura: You can say, “I want to talk with you about something that has been bothering me. Is now a good time?” Wait for him to say, “Yes.”  Then you can say, “You have every right to do what you want, and I do not think you would intentionally do something to cause me pain. Having said that, I want to be honest and share with you that I felt tremendous discomfort when you were dirty dancing with (insert her name) at (insert which party).  I want to talk with you about it because experiencing you dancing in such a manner with another woman turns me off to you, and I don’t want to risk repeatedly feeling that way because it’s damaging for our intimacy. I would not be comfortable dirty dancing with another man out of respect for you, and I want to ask you if we could make an agreement about keeping boundaries in consideration to each other when we dance with other people. What are your thoughts?”

Lives of Style: I tell my husband all the time to put down the toilet seat. He forgets a lot. I’m getting tired of nagging. What can I do?

Laura: For your own sake I suggest you do your best to accept the fact that you should expect to put the toilet seat down when you go to use the bathroom to avoid driving yourself crazy over it time and time again. Once you have accepted it, then approach him without high expectations and say, “Honey I want to talk with you about something that is bothering me. Is now a good time?” Wait for him to say ,”Yes.”  Then you can say, “I do not want to nag you about this, and logically I know that you are not deliberately leaving the toilet seat up to aggravate me. I want you to know that I will do my best to not let it get to me when you forget to put it down, and I would really appreciate your best efforts to remember because it feels very frustrating to me to fall in to the toilet because the seat is up. What are your thoughts?”

Lives of Style:  I have been married for over ten years and I love my husband. I recently started a new job and one of my colleagues who is a man has asked me out to lunch. He knows I’m married and isn’t flirty. How can I keep it professional because I don’t want to have any office rumors swirling?

Laura: The best way to keep it professional and not have rumors floating around is to have a rule to only go out with colleagues to lunch with a minimum total of three people. This way it is not just you and a man.

While Laura may not be able to email each of you individually, she will answer select questions.

Remember, log onto http://www.livesofstyle.com/the_last_word/ and email Laura at Laura@livesofstyle.com.

Follow us on InstagramFacebook & Twitter to win prizes!  And check out more at The Last Word.

Master Communicating with Men

couple-walking-beach

Lives of Style’s DatingSpeak ™ ©2014 addresses questions about dating, relationships and communication.

Our Lives of Style authority–Laura Pugliese, shares must-know dating “Do’s and Don’ts” that will help you find success in your relationships.

Lives of Style:  I have been dating a man for about a month and he just called me to ask me out again but he added this question, “Are you ready to get intimate with me?” I didn’t know what to say so I said, “Let’s see how it goes.” What could I say in the future if someone asks me that again and what do I say on my date if I don’t feel like being intimate with him?

Laura: If you are looking for a committed and mutually exclusive relationship and are interested in having one with the man you are dating, then it is in your best interest to let him know that when he asks you to be intimate. You can say, “Thank you for letting me know you want to become intimate with me and asking me if I am ready. I am very attracted to you, however I have traditional values and do not want to have casual sex with anyone. I want to be in a committed and exclusive relationship with someone before I become fully intimate. What are your thoughts about what I am sharing with you, and do you want us to be in a committed and exclusive relationship?”

If you are dating a man, and you don’t know yet whether or not you want to be intimate or in a committed and exclusive relationship with him, then you can say, “I appreciate that you are ready and want to be intimate with me now. I want you to know that I am enjoying dating and getting to know you, however I do not feel ready for that level of intimacy yet. I have traditional values, and it is most important to me that we get to know each other better first and see if we both think we want to commit to an exclusive relationship. What are your thoughts?”

Pre-Summer Advice from Fitness Expert Denise Austin

Denise Austin

Denise Austin is an icon in the fitness industry.

With over 30 years promoting health and fitness, Austin has created 100 workout videos and DVD’s, authored 12 books on health and earned her fame as “America’s favorite fitness expert.”

Austin sat down with Lives of Style to talk about health, happiness and living an amazing life.

Austin is beautiful, in amazing shape, energetic and fills up a room with positive energy.

Lives of Style: What’s the most important thing for a healthy lifestyle?

Austin: Three things, exercise, eating right and a great positive, optimistic attitude.

Lives of Style: How do you encourage people to start working out?

Austin: In the beginning, start out with 10 minutes a day to create a routine that can become a habit. Just wake up 10 minutes earlier, I do a morning routine.

Michael Canale Brings Couture Hair West of the 405

Canale Martinez Salon in Pacific Palisades

Celebrity colorist Michael Canale’s influence over California’s blond trestles has gotten broader.

Canale–known for his award-winning color on clients like Jennifer Aniston, is opening a new salon in Pacific Palisades named the Canale Martinez Salon with Jeffrey Martinez, his cousin who was mentored under Canale.

They are bringing couture hair West of the 405.

Canale said, “It’s lovely to be back with him. I mentored him here (in the Canale Salon which is his flagship salon located in Beverly Hills) and he came back strong enough to partner with in this new salon in the Palisades.

How to Handle Tricky Situations

couple-talking

Lives of Style’s DatingSpeak ™ ©2014 addresses questions about dating, relationships and communication.

Our Lives of Style authority–Laura Pugliese, shares must-know dating “Do’s and Don’ts” that will help you find success in your relationships.

Lives of Style: I’m attracted to my new father-in-law. Not really as a sexual attraction, but he’s so interesting, intelligent and fun to be with, that he makes my husband seem–well, boring. How can I speak to my husband about being more interesting, or at least more engaged with life?

Laura: Your husband is his own person, and it is not in either one of your best interest to compare him against his father or any man. From what you are sharing it appears that he is a different personality than your father-in-law. You were interested in him enough to marry him, so he must have some qualities you love. My suggestion for you is to first make it a point stop engaging your father-in-law as much in order not to keep encouraging your crush. It is not healthy for you or your marriage to be focused on your father-in-law and make comparisons to your husband that leave your husband falling short in your eyes. What you could do is sit down and make a list of all of the positive qualities your husband has that you fell in love with. Ask him to do the things that you know interest him that you did together before, and talk about things you know he is interested in that you could bond with him over.

You could say, “Honey I was thinking about when we used to (insert some activities he enjoys that you used to do together), and I really miss us doing those things together. What are your thoughts about us making a point to do things like that together again regularly?” Also, choose some subjects that you know he is knowledgeable about and say, “Honey, I know you know a lot about (insert subjects), and I would love to learn about it from you. What are your thoughts about telling me about it.” Respect, encourage, and love him for who he is. Engage him with interest, and make it a priority to put your focus back where it belongs.

STEPS FOR CLEAR CONVERSATION

Men and Women Smiling
POSTED BY LIVES OF STYLE
 
Lives of Style’s DatingSpeak™©2015 addresses questions about dating, relationships and communication. We are audience-based and questions directed at us at LoS DatingSpeak™©2015 or our authorities may not appear due to limited space.
Lives of Style authority–Laura Pugliese, shares must-know dating “Do’s and Don’ts” that will help you find success in your relationships.
Here are questions posed by our audience: 

Lives of Style: I have been asked out on a first date from a man who lives out of town. He asked me out for Thursday at 6:30pm. I don’t finish work until 7p and couldn’t meet him until 8p. I asked to see if he could do another day and he replied that he couldn’t because he was leaving town. What can I say because I am not on my “A Game” after a long day of work?

Laura: If you have an interest in this man, then I think you should do your best to meet him while he is in town. You could say to him, “Thank you for inviting me out. I want to say yes, but unfortunately I will still be at work at the time you suggested on Thursday. I would be able to meet you by 8pm on Thursday if you want to do that. What are your thoughts?”

Twitter Delicious Facebook Digg Stumbleupon Favorites More