Solutions for Communication Challenges

Communication

Lives of Style’s DatingSpeak ™ ©2014 addresses questions about dating, relationships and communication.

Our Lives of Style authority–Laura Pugliese, shares must-know dating “Do’s and Don’ts” that will help you find success in your relationships.

We are proud to have Laura on our team!

Here are questions posed by our audience:

Lives of Style: I went to a holiday party with my husband and during a conversation with a stunning brunette he started flirting. I was standing next to him and he didn’t look at me for the 20 minutes that we were talking (i.e they were talking). What can I say in the future because I felt like a third wheel?
Laura: The next time you are going to an event or party with your husband talk to him a day or two beforehand. You can say,”Honey, I realize I have some sensitive feeling from the last holiday party we went to that I want to talk to you about before we go to another party. Is now a good time?” Wait for him to say, “Yes.” Then you can say, “I realized that I felt a little out of place and awkward at the ( name the specific party) when you were talking to ( insert name if you know it–the stunning brunette).  You had every right to talk with her as much as you wanted to, and I know that you wouldn’t intentionally do anything to make me feel uncomfortable. For me–at the time,  I was feeling out of place and a little bit jealous because you and she were having such riendly banter, and I was just standing there feeling out of the loop. It would feel best to me if you would introduce me and include me in conversations when we are together at parties. What are your thoughts about doing that?”

Maneuvering Through the Holidays with Great Communication

dating

Lives of Style’s DatingSpeak ™ ©2014 addresses questions about dating, relationships and communication.

Our Lives of Style authority–Laura Pugliese, shares must-know dating “Do’s and Don’ts” that will help you find success in your relationships.

We are proud to have Laura on our team!

Here are questions posed by our audience:

Lives of Style: I started dating my ex-boyfriend’s friend casually and we just got serious. Do I call and tell my ex-boyfriend before we see each other at a holiday party or do I just wait to see him there? And if I should say something what do I say?

Laura: He is your ex boyfriend and his friend is now your boyfriend. Since the two of them are still friends I think you should discuss it with your current boyfriend out of respect because it impacts him directly with his friend. To your current boyfriend you can say, “I want to talk to you about something that feels sensitive to me. Is now a good time?” Wait for him to say, “Yes.” Then you can say, “I was thinking about whether or not I should tell (insert ex boyfriend’s name) that you and I are dating because It might be awkward when we see each other at a holiday party, but I didn’t want to do anything without asking you how you want to handle. What are your thoughts about how you want us to handle it?”

Holiday Dating Do’s and Don’ts

Cute Holiday Couple

Lives of Style’s DatingSpeak ™ ©2014 addresses questions about dating, relationships and communication.

Our Lives of Style authority–Laura Pugliese, shares must-know dating “Do’s and Don’ts” that will help you find success in your relationships.

We are proud to have Laura on our team!

Here are questions posed by our audience:

Lives of Style: I was kissing the new man I’m seeing and during our make out session he got a phone call, jumped up to get it and it was his mother and he kept talking to her. I was just sitting on the couch waiting. He spoke for about 10 minutes. It didn’t feel good. Is this just a momma’s boy and I should get out while I can or should I say something to him?

Laura: He may be a mommy’s boy and/or he may be like so many other people today who unconsciously respond to their phone no matter what the circumstances are. It could have been a buddy of his on the other line and he may have chatted with him also. Many people these days jump to answer their cell phones and respond to text messages without thinking until or unless it poses a problem. It’s always best to communicate with the other person first to give him the opportunity to know how you feel and choose to make a change. Since you didn’t say anything right after it happened wait until it happens again to be sure that it’s an ongoing issue. Then, right after he finishes his call you can say, “You have every right to answer your phone whenever you want to and talk for as long as you want, however I want to be honest and tell you that it really doesn’t feel good to me when you do that when we are in the middle of kissing and being close. What are your thoughts about us making a no phone agreement for certain times we are together?”

Lives of Style: My fiance and I both work. We just got engaged and are very excited to celebrate the holiday season. I need some help with planning our schedule. This weekend we have his friends Christmas party on Friday, his holiday work party on Saturday and now he wants to schedule another event with his parents on Sunday. I’m exhausted just thinking about it. What can I say to him?

Laura: The holiday season can definitely add layers of stress with the needs for extra shopping for gifts, holiday parties and gatherings with loved ones. Based on the fact that he is adding onto this already busy weekend while you are feeling overwhelmed; it appears to me that your fiancé is an extrovert, and you are an introvert. Extroverts can go from one activity or event to another without pause and without feeling overwhelmed because they get recharged by being around people. Introverts are the exact opposite. Although they may exhibit extroverted qualities and can be very engaging when they interact with people, they feel drained and require some downtime to recharge after being around people.

If you are feeling overwhelmed with so much packed into this one weekend it is a good idea to talk with your fiancé’. You can say “Honey, I want to talk to you about some concerns I am having about all of our plans this weekend. Is now a good time?” Wait for him to say, “Yes,” then you can say, “I want to do my best to be a good partner and be my best for all of the plans we have this weekend. I also want you to enjoy yourself as much as you want to. I feel overwhelmed because there is so much planned for this one weekend, and I don’t do well without some downtime in between. I understand that it is not overwhelming for you. I don’t want to become irritable while we are out because I am trying to be “on” so much, and I also want you to be able to enjoy spending as much time socially as you want to. What are your thoughts about the feelings I am sharing with you, and what do you think about us driving separately to the parties, so I could leave early to get proper rest to ensure that I feel well during all of the events this weekend?”

Lives of Style: My boyfriend just broke up with me and I am angry that he didn’t wait until after the holidays. I have so many events to go to and don’t have a date. Can I call ask him to go with me still?

Laura: You can certainly do that if you want to, but I don’t think it’s in your best interest to. Although it may feel uncomfortable to go to these events alone it would probably not feel good to go with someone who just ended their relationship with you. If there are any other men that you think you would like to spend some time with let them know you have an event and do not have a date, and see if one of them wants to go as your escort. Going alone to some of them could be a good thing, as you have the opportunity to meet new people. Don’t be afraid to move forward without this man. You are worth having someone who cherishes you and wants to be with you.

Lives of Style: I went to a party where everyone was drinking. I wasn’t because I was on medication so I felt a little out of the loop. However, my boyfriend got drunk and started flirting with another woman. He was rubbing her shoulders and was way too close to her. I walked over and he backed up a little. The next day I told him I didn’t feel good about it and he said, “it was nothing, I was just being friendly.” What can I say to him…I’m still in pain?

Laura: You are not alone in feeling this way. I think many women would feel very upset by that behavior. He truly may not be aware that it was anything. The problem is that you are talking to a sober person about his behavior when he was drunk. In his intoxicated mind he was not using rational thinking when he acted a bit too friendly with the other woman. In his sober mind he may not have a full recollection and he thinks that logically you should know it was nothing. I don’t think it is going to help at this time to keep going over this one incident. What I do think is important for you to do is to answer a few questions.

Do you think this was an isolated incident?
Does your boyfriend get drunk often?
When your boyfriend drinks does he usually exhibit behavior that is illegal, immoral, unethical or uncomfortable for you?
Does your boyfriend have a trustworthy record with how he treats you and how appropriate he engages with other women while he is drinking and also when he is not drinking?

If the answers to these questions show you a pattern that is positive, then do your best to let it go and move forward until or unless there is another issue that needs to be addressed. If these questions show you a pattern that is negative, then it is in your best interest to evaluate if this is a person with whom you want to move forward.

Lives of Style: I was out pre-shopping with my boyfriend and when I was trying on a dress he touched my tummy and said that the dress doesn’t look that good on me and makes my stomach look big. I’m not overweight and had just eaten lunch so I know I have nothing to worry about but it hurt my feelings. What can I say in the future?

Laura: Men and woman generally have a gap between what the man’s good intentions are when he makes such statements and how the comments are received and felt by the woman. He was most likely looking at it from a logical perspective and saw that the dress wasn’t fitting in a way that flattered you around your stomach and wanted you to know that information without any intention of saying that your stomach was ACTUALLY BIG. If a female friend said it she would say something like, “There’s something wrong with the way that dress is made because it’s too tight in your stomach. Don’t buy that stupid dress. Try something else that is made right!”

Keep his good intentions in mind when you speak with him. In the future you can say, “Honey, I know you have the best intentions and do not mean to say something that that hurts my feelings, but as a woman I feel very sensitive to hearing comments about my body looking big in any way, even though logically I know I’m not fat. I want to be honest and share that with you because I know it’s not something you could know without me telling you. What are your thoughts about letting me know in the future whether or not you like something with a simple, ‘I like that dress’ or ‘I don’t like that dress’ without adding comments about my body in order to avoid me having sensitive feelings?”

While Laura may not be able to email each of you individually, she will answer select questions.

Remember, log onto http://www.livesofstyle.com/the_last_word/ and email Laura at Laura@livesofstyle.com.

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Solutions for Holiday Hassles

dating holiday

Lives of Style’s DatingSpeak ™ ©2014 addresses questions about dating, relationships and communication.

Our Lives of Style authority–Laura Pugliese, shares must-know dating “Do’s and Don’ts” that will help you find success in your relationships.

We are proud to have Laura on our team!

Here are questions posed by our audience:

Lives of Style: I’m dating a lot of men right now and recently I scheduled two dates in a day. I had planned a lunch date and a dinner date with two men who I really like and want to get to know better. I had an “oopsy” on the dinner date because that night after dinner my date and I went to a movie and my lunch date was there with friends and saw me. I didn’t say anything and just looked away. Should I call him and explain?

Laura: No. Since you are in the stage of dating where and have not even discussed exclusivity it is totally acceptable for you to go on dates with other men who ask you out. Although it may have felt awkward, you didn’t do anything wrong. However, in the future do your best to at least smile if you make eye contact before looking away. If he contacts you, brings it up, and he asks you directly if you were on a date when he saw you then you can say, “Yes. I assumed we were both dating others at this point. What are your thoughts about that?”

Get Star-Worthy Hair

Jennifer Aniston

Michael Canale, Beverly Hills Hair Colorist to the Stars and creator of Jennifer Aniston’s award winning colour, proffers insight and shares tips for star-worthy hair.

Lives of Style: What are the trends for hair color for this winter?

Michael: The biggest trend is the return to natural highlighting, which is the natural blending of color into the base.

Ombre moved out about a year ago, and the natural look regained its popularity. There is no dark root and blonde ends.

There are no big chunks or big streaks. If clients want that look it is done with extensions. Those large streaks caused the hair to break off, and people who had this done needed extensions to replace the integrity of the hair.

Jennifer Aniston is a perfect example of natural highlighting. We brought back her old-school, natural color. Her length is back, and she shines with her trademark beautiful hair color.

Lives of Style: Why do you think Jennifer Aniston’s colour has caught on so much?

Michael: Because it was minimal. It was the beginning of the natural look where color was there to enhance the person instead of changing the person. She’s a beautiful woman who doesn’t get over shown by her hair.

Lives of Style: What are some trends for celebrity hair?

Michael: Celebrities usually go too blonde and 90% of them have extensions because their hair has broken off. Many people have a preconceived notion that blonder is better. I always take my clients into blonde gradually. It’s important to ease into a blonde so you keep integrity of the hair.

And short haircuts are in. Jennifer Lawrence, Miley Cyrus, Ann Hathaway and many more celebrities went short. Chris McMillan is the best in the business. Nobody’s as creative or innovative. It’s very rare that somebody’s that amazing. He can make something out of nothing. He can change your look and make it new and fresh. Grow-outs last six months. He just has the touch.

Remember, log onto The Last Word and email Michael at Michael@livesofstyle.com.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook & Twitter to win prizes! And check out more at The Last Word.

Set Positive Boundaries in Your Relationships

dating

Lives of Style’s DatingSpeak ™ ©2014 addresses questions about dating, relationships and communication.

Our Lives of Style authority–Laura Pugliese, shares must-know dating “Do’s and Don’ts” that will help you find success in your relationships.

We are proud to have Laura on our team!

Here are questions posed by our audience:

Lives of Style: My boyfriend has been texting with a girl from work, and I noticed recently that they weren’t just work texts. What can I say to him because I don’t trust that it’s just a work relationship?

Laura: If you and your boyfriend have not discussed and made an agreement about boundaries for friendships of the opposite sex, then I suggest you incorporate that topic into your discussion.

You can say, “I want to talk to you about something I noticed that didn’t feel comfortable to me. Is now a good time?” Wait for him to say, “Yes.” Then you can say, “I noticed that you had a text exchange with (insert name of girl) from work that appeared not to be about work. You have every right to text whatever you want to whoever you want. I want to be honest and share with you that I feel very uncomfortable with you having personal continual texting banter with another woman, and I do not engage with other men like that out of respect for you and our relationship. What are your thoughts about the feelings I am sharing with you, and what are you willing to agree to in terms of boundaries that we both make and keep in regards to us each interacting with members of the opposite sex?

Solutions to Thorny Conversational Issues

Thorny Conversation

Lives of Style’s DatingSpeak ™ ©2014 addresses questions about dating, relationships and communication.

Our Lives of Style authority–Laura Pugliese, shares must-know dating “Do’s and Don’ts” that will help you find success in your relationships.

We are proud to have Laura on our team!

Here are questions posed by our audience: 

Lives of Style: My husband and I double an old college friend of my husband’s and his wife. The guys were talking the whole night, so I chatted with the wife. She was nice, but I found myself being bored and tried to signal my husband to include us. He ignored me and continued on with his friend–for the entire 4 1/2 hours of our drinks/dinner get-together. What can I say to him?

Laura: I think it’s important to have some patience and give some space for your husband to have his male bonding time with an old buddy that he probably doesn’t get to see too often, however it’s understandable that you would feel somewhat uncomfortable if that went on for the entire double date. If by chance you find yourself in the same situation again while out with another couple or one of his friends, then I suggest you speak with him about it as soon as possible afterwards and when you are alone with him. You can say, “I want to talk to you about something that felt uncomfortable to me when we were out with (insert name of the other couple). Is now a good time?” Wait for him to say, “Yes.” Then you can say, “You have every right to spend as much time as you want talking to your buddy. I do understand that you want to enjoy some male bonding time when you see your friends, and I want to do my best to be supportive of that time. I don’t know if you realized it, but this time, and also the last time we went out with (insert couple’s name), you and (insert name) were talking the entire night without including us girls. I don’t want to give you a hard time, and I am aware that you may need a little extra time talking with a buddy who you don’t get to see often. What would feel best to me is if there could also be some time on the date when we are all engaged in conversation together. What are your thoughts about us making an agreement that I check in with you before we go out with other people to discuss our comfort level for male bonding time–if we’re with your friends–or female bonding time–if we’re with my friends, in order to avoid exclusions that lead to negative feelings?”

Conversational Give and Take

couple apart

Lives of Style’s DatingSpeak ™ ©2014 addresses questions about dating, relationships and communication.

Our Lives of Style authority–Laura Pugliese, shares must-know dating “Do’s and Don’ts” that will help you find success in your relationships.

We are proud to have Laura on our team!

Here are questions posed by our audience: 

Lives of Style: My boss is very flirty with me and I am attracted to him. How can I move it from work to a personal relationship without getting fired? Is there anything I can say to let him know I am interested?

Laura: You have every right to take the risk if you want to, but I cannot recommend that you do or say anything to provoke a romantic response from your boss, because it could ignite a legal or ethical issue–by being perceived as inappropriate behavior and or sexual harassment. You did mention that your boss is flirty with you, so if you want to take the risks that come you can be responsive to his flirtation and accept an invitation with caution if and when he offers one to you. At that time you could say: “I am attracted to you and want to get to know you personally. However, I feel scared because you are my boss, and I don’t want to do anything that creates any problems for either one of us at work. What are your thoughts about how to handle that?”

How to Have Healthy Relationships

MEN-AND-WOMEN-facebook

Dating-Speak” ™ ©2014: Our Lives of Style authority–Laura Pugliese shares must-know dating “Do’s and Don’ts” that will help you find success in your relationships:

Lives of Style: I’ve been dating a man for six weeks and I’m wildly attracted to him. The other night he asked me, “When can we go all the way?” and I didn’t know how to respond to let him know I want a committed, monogamous relationship. What can I say the next time he asks me.

Laura: The next time he asks you can say, “I am very attracted to you too, and I do feel the desire to go all the way with you. The reason I am not comfortable acting on that desire yet is because I have traditional values and want to be in an exclusive and committed relationship first. At that time I would feel comfortable going all the way. What are your thoughts about what I am sharing with you, and is that what you want with me too?”

Michael Canale Master of Hair on Jennifer Aniston’s New Colour

jennifer aniston 2014

Michael Canale is a maestro at hair colour. He has a loyal following of the most coveted stars and power players in Hollywood because he understands how to do naturally beautiful hair colour which looks perfectly sun-kissed.

Canale has worked with mega-star Jennifer Aniston since her days on “Friends,” creating award-winner looks throughout her career.

We spoke with Michael about Jennifer’s colour which has gone from blonde to brunette back to blonde and now has a new edge.

Lives of Style: What’s happening with Jennifer Aniston’s colour now?

Michael: We are doing old school color, what we did 10 years ago, it is natural dark honey tones mixed with blonde and a bright front.

It is a natural set of highlights, we don’t pull the color through, we just touch up the roots. Initially when we were changing from brunette to blonde we brightened ends but now just tough up. (If you don’t know what this is–then omit and end with brightened the ends.)

In the front I’ve created a bright sandy hairline–which is more of a statement highlight for her face. We are doing a cool-tone gloss to keep the hairline sandy-beige which brings out her beautiful blue eyes.

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