Navigating the Road to a Great Relationship

men and women holding hands

Lives of Style’s DatingSpeak ©2016 addresses questions about Dating, Relationships and Communication. Lives of Style is committed to helping you achieve your own best style–in fashion, beauty and in life.

Lives of Style and Lives of Style’s DatingSpeak ™ ©2016 want to facilitate answers to questions. While Lives of Style’s authorities in different categories may not be able to email each of you individually, select questions will be answered.

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Our Lives of Style relationship authority–Laura Pugliese, shares must-know dating “Do’s and Don’ts” that will help you find success in your relationships.

Darlene:  What can I say to get closer to a man at work who I am attracted to?  I saw him at a seminar and he and I made eye contact but the meeting broke up early and I never had a chance to speak with him. (I know the department in which he works.)

Laura: Considering that this is a work place for both of you, I would suggest first making sure you know if there are any company policies with regard to engaging in romantic relationships. Next I suggest that you discretely ask around to find out if he is single. If you know someone who knows him or has a connection to him who is trustworthy, then you can ask for help.

With all of that in mind, here is my suggestion.

It is contingent upon having a person you know check in with him–less confrontational if he is not available or not interested–to find out if he is single. If he is, then that person could mention you–let him know you find him attractive, and offer him your  social media info. This way he could see you and decide if he finds you attractive as well. Men are initially very visual.  Then the person could say, ”She would love to hear from you if you want to make contact.” He will know you are interested without you doing or saying anything awkward, directly. If he finds you attractive and also wants to make the connection, then he has prior knowledge that you are receptive, along with a way to initiate contact.

Stephanie: I’m an older woman of 72 and my husband passed away two years ago. I’m still lively and active and want to experience love once more. I met a kind gentleman at our Senior Center and he asked to walk me home. I refused, because I didn’t know him personally. But I am responsive to him and would like to see him. What can I say to him when I see him again at the Center?

Laura: You could say, “It is great to see you again. I want to thank you again for your offer to walk with me when we last saw each other. It was so thoughtful of you. I want you to know that I would love to take you up on that offer if it is still something you want to do. What are your thoughts about us doing that now or sometime soon?”

Louise: My ex-boyfriend wanted to experience “life,” and to travel so he broke up with me 11 months ago. Now he’s returned and wants to get back together and even says he would be open to marrying me. I still love him but am wary. What could I say to him?

Laura: I imagine you felt sadness when he made that choice, and that is completely understandable. I am going to ask you to look at this from a different perspective right now. Your ex-boyfriend was in touch with himself enough and had the integrity to be completely honest with you. He let you go because he realized that he could not give you the attention and commitment that you wanted and are worth at that time. He needed that time to explore whatever it is he needed to explore and grow to become ready for a full commitment that includes marriage. If you still care for and have attraction to this man, then I strongly suggest you take the risk to give him the chance to show you who he has grown to be, and see what he has to offer to you now. Sometimes people need to grow away from you to evolve to their fullest potential.

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