Successfully Navigate Online Dating

How to successfully navigate online dating

Lives of Style is proud to introduce our NEW “Dating-Speak” Authority: Laura Pugliese.

Laura–formally trained at the WANT Institute by the pre-eminent relationship therapist–Dr. Pat Allen, is a Certified Communications Coach–one of  only 100 who have personally studied under Dr. Allen. Laura combines her training, life experience and spiritually-driven gift for manifesting potent communications in interpersonal relationships. Laura teaches her clients how to cut through emotional reactions and communicate rationally with integrity and love.

Today our “Dating-Speak” Authority–Laura shares must-know dating do’s and don’ts that will help you find success in your relationships.


Lives of Style: Are there certain key phrases that you could or should incorporate in your online profile?

Laura: Yes. If you want to be seen as a feminine woman it is a good idea to use words that relay feminine energy. You can say things like, “I am a feminine woman with tradition values open to meeting a respectable man who wants to lead.” Lives of Style: Are there things you should omit, or gloss over?

Laura: I see many women attempt to impress or sell themselves by saying things like, “I am beautiful, intelligent and successful. Although it is a good thing to believe in yourself and know your worth statements like these come across narcissistic. Leave a little mystery. Less is more when it comes to self-descriptions. Your pictures will show your beauty and your articulation will show your intelligence. As a woman you may want to be brief or omit details about your profession. You can say, “I feel happy to do something that I love which is rewarding,” and save discussions about your work for face to face discussions with men that are courting you.

Lives of Style: How do you let a man online know you’re interested in meeting him?

Laura: Send him a wink or whatever is equivalent. See if he picks up the ball with an email.

Lives of Style: If a man “likes” your photo, should you thank him?

Laura: I suggest you send him a wink to let him know you are open to him contacting you.

Lives of Style: What if a man “favorites” you. Should you respond with a “favorite” or a “Wink?”

Laura: Again, send a wink to show him you are receptive to his contact.

Lives of Style:  How many sites should you be on?

Laura: One or two is good, but feel free to join as many as you feel comfortable joining. Everyone is different. The important thing is you are putting yourself out there.

Lives of Style: What if a man asks you to “tell me all about yourself,” how much should you write?

Laura: I don’t think it’s a good idea to get too detailed writing back and forth without talking and meeting. A little bit is okay, the idea is to go on dates not become email pals. You can say, “Thank you so much for asking. I am very open to sharing some details about myself by phone if you want to call me (insert phone number) and more if you decide to ask me on a date, as I feel most comfortable sharing more detailed information about myself in person.  What are your thoughts?”

Lives of Style: What do you write to a man who emails you about himself but doesn’t ask you anything?

Laura: He may be nervous or not sure if you are open to him. You can say, “Thank you for writing and sharing so much about yourself. (Comment on things he wrote when appropriate–for example–if he mentions a hobby like skiing that you have a common interest in you can say, “I see you love to ski. I love skiing too.” Once you have thanked him and mentioned things you have in common you have (if there are any) then you can say, “Do you have an interest in knowing a little about me? Please let me know and I will respond.” Send with a smiley face and write your name.

Lives of Style: What do you write back to a man who writes, “Hi.”

Laura: You can say, “Hi! Thank you for your email!  :-) ” Add the smiley face and send it back. Wait and see if he leads you in another email.

Lives of Style: What can you write to a man who seems happy just emailing you and has been sending long messages for over a week with no request to call or meet?

Laura: You can say, “I do appreciate your interest via email; however, I noticed you have not asked to meet me in person. I am receptive to meeting you if you want to ask me. Otherwise,  I hope you can understand that I need to focus on responding to men that are asking me out, as my reason for being on this site is to respond for dating. What are your thoughts?”

Lives of Style: What do you write to a man you met online who writes, “We should talk or meet sometime?”

Laura: You can say, “Thank you! I would love to. My phone number is (insert phone number).  I look forward to receiving your call. ”

Lives of Style: What do you say to a man you met online who writes something sexually suggestive and you are not comfortable?

Laura: You can say, “You have every right to say sexually suggestive things to me. However, I have traditional values and am not comfortable with that kind of talk at this early stage of knowing someone. What are your thoughts about not doing that and getting to know each other to see if anything develops first?”

Lives of Style: What do you say to a man who says, “Let me know when you are available sometime?” 

Laura: You can say, “Thank you for asking. I am available (insert 2 to 3 options you are available in the next week or so).”

Lives of Style: A man you’ve been writing online sends you his number at the end of the message after he writes, “Call me.” What can you write back so you stay feminine?

Laura: You can say, “Thank you for sending me your number and asking me to call. I would love to talk with you. I have traditional values and feel most comfortable responding to a man’s lead and call. Here is my number (insert phone number). Is that okay with you?”

Lives of Style: Can you ever rekindle an online connection. Say a man emails you and says he’d like to see you sometime, and you don’t respond for a while. And when you do, it’s too casual and not respectful. Can you ever email him and “drop a hankie?” or say “I really enjoyed your initial email. I feel badly that I was so (busy, preoccupied, etc.) that I did not respond in a respectful manner. What are your thoughts about continuing our conversation?” 

Laura: You can take the risk and say, “Hi (insert name). This is ( insert name). I’m not sure if you remember me. I really enjoyed your initial email to me. (Do your best to insert when it was) I feel badly because that I was so busy at that time, and I realized that I failed to respond in the respectful manner you deserved. I would love to hear from you if you want to continue our conversation. What are your thoughts?”

Lives of Style: Suppose that, after emailing each other a few times, you think you may have met the man–from the “real world” who is emailing you on a dating site. Is it okay to ask, “Are you?” or  say, “I think I know you?”

Laura: Although you may be right, at this point it is still an assumption. It may be awkward if you are wrong. It’s also possible he knows it is you and he isn’t sure you are interested. He may want to see if you will respond this way. Be open, stay feminine and respond to him on the site. When/If he asks you out you will find out if it is him.

While Laura may not be able to email each of you individually, she will answer select questions on her weekly blog.

Remember, log onto and email Laura at

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