Attract a Masculine Man By Being Feminine

Dating

Lives of Style is proud to introduce our NEW “Dating-Speak” ™ ©2013 Authority: Laura Pugliese.

Laura–formally trained at the WANT Institute by the pre-eminent relationship therapist–Dr. Pat Allen, is a Certified Communications Coach–one of only 100 who have personally studied under Dr. Allen. Laura combines her training, life experience and spiritually-driven gift for manifesting potent communications in interpersonal relationships. Laura teaches her clients how to cut through emotional reactions and communicate rationally with integrity and love.

Today our “Dating-Speak” ™ ©2013 Authority–Laura shares must-know dating do’s and don’ts that will help you find the success in your relationships.

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Lives of Style: I’m divorced with a five-year old son who has a learning disorder, and I also work, so my time is really taken with home, family and my job. My friends want me to get out more and to meet someone. I see men at work or around my town, but I don’t seem to connect with them. They just ignore me. What’s a good icebreaker?

Laura: The best icebreaker a woman has is her smile and her magnetic energy. When a woman is in her feminine energy and exudes warmpth and receptivity men take notice, understand the signal, and will approach if interested. Some men you meet may not approach because they are not single, gay, or just not interested for whatever reason. Don’t concern yourself about that. Your objective is to be receptive and available to the ones that do.

You may be thinking, “I’ve tried that, and it didn’t work.” If you think you tried it and it didn’t work, then most likely you were not relaxed enough, or you weren’t smiling while making and holding eye contact for a long enough period of time. My suggestion is you think about this and practice. When you are out and about keep that smile on and look at men directly while holding that contact and smile. Find a few times a week when you can go somewhere (like a coffee shop) and sit for a period of time to practice flirting in this way. Smile and keep contact for at least five seconds. Woman report back to me all the time that they know when they are finally doing it effectively because men do approach them. A lovely woman recently reported that she was doing it so effectively that the man walked over to her and asked her, “Is that smile for me?” 

Lives of Style: I want to get beyond a relationship that ended badly a year ago, when I finally got up enough nerve to leave my boyfriend and he spread lies about me on Facebook. I’m now match.com and I see some faces that look familiar in daily matches. One has winked at me, and I’m afraid I may know him in real life. How do I address this, or do I, if someone brings it up online?

Laura: My suggestion is to respond to what is being presented to you. If and when someone asks you if you have met answer him honestly. If someone brings up the lies that were spread you can say, “It is unfortunate that when our relationship ended my ex chose to say things that weren’t true about me.  I have chosen to leave that all behind me and move forward and let the truth about who I am show in my actions.”

Lives of Style: I’m shy and I feel like I always say the most awkward things on a date (like asking what a man’s intentions are within 10 minutes of meeting him), or grilling him on how he sees himself 5 years from now. What can I say/do to relax and just enjoy the date?

Laura: Do your best to practice responding to the lead of your dates and their question rather than peppering them with leading questions about their intentions or long-term goals. Those are questions for later stage dating under specific circumstances.  If you want to ask questions to show interest you can say, “I would love to learn some things about you that you want to share. What are your thoughts?”

Lives of Style: I’m 27 and I like to dress up all the time, but many people my age go for casual dates. I don’t want to seem “princess-y” and some guys have commented that I may be too fussy for them. How can I communicate that what I wear has nothing to do with the location of the date?

Laura: My thoughts are that if it is becoming an issue in dating where you have to explain that you are not fussy or difficult, then it may serve you well to surrender and start experimenting with some cute and casual attire on dates when appropriate. Being open and flexible to changing it up is very feminine.

Lives of Style: Can love come again? My boss has stories about friends of hers who found true love years after they originally dated. I just want my old boyfriend back. I broke up with him because I thought he wasn’t good enough for me. That was three years ago. Since then, he’s gone back to school to get an MBA and is working for a financial consulting company. We saw each other at a party recently and the sparks were there.

Laura: There are no guarantees, but anything is possible. Sometimes two people can part and grow to be better together at a later time. With that in mind I believe if you still have chemistry (attraction) and love in your heart then it is worth revisiting to see if there’s a chance to rebuild and move forward together or get closure to move on and be open to someone new. What is unknown here is where his process brought him emotionally after you broke up with him, along with what he thinks and wants or doesn’t want now.

If you know you are willing to take the risk to find out if he is interested in rekindling the relationship, then you could contact him and say, “I want to talk to you about some feelings I am having regarding us. Do you want to hear them, and is now a good time?” Wait until he says he wants to hear your feelings and also let’s you know it’s a good time. Then you can say, “I made the decision to end our relationship three years ago, but since then I have grown to realize how much I still care about you and what a loss it has been to not have you in my life. What are your thoughts about what I am sharing with you, and do you want to explore the possibility of us again?”

While Laura may not be able to email each of you individually, she will answer select questions on her weekly blog.

Remember, log onto http://www.livesofstyle.com/the_last_word/ and email Laura at Laura@livesofstyle.com

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