Date Smart This Holiday Season

First Date

Lives of Style is proud to introduce our NEW “Dating-Speak” ™ ©2013 Authority: Laura Pugliese.

Laura–formally trained at the WANT Institute by the pre-eminent relationship therapist–Dr. Pat Allen, is a Certified Communications Coach–one of only 100 who have personally studied under Dr. Allen. Laura combines her training, life experience and spiritually-driven gift for manifesting potent communications in interpersonal relationships. Laura teaches her clients how to cut through emotional reactions and communicate rationally with integrity and love.

Today our “Dating-Speak” ™ ©2013 Authority–Laura shares must-know dating do’s and don’ts that will help you find the success in your relationships.

______________________________________________________________________________

Lives of Style: Can you ever rekindle a romance? Any dropped hints? This would be after a year of no contact–when you were together for a year.

Laura: First decide if you are willing to take the risk and accept finding out that the person is not interested in rekindling the relationship, as that is a possible outcome. If you really miss the person and are struggling to move on it’s probably best to go through the discomfort to find out in order to move forward. You never know what could happen, and at the very least you will have the answer to help you move forward.

You can contact him and say, “I want to talk with you about some feelings I am having. Is now a good time.”  Wait for him to say, “Yes.” Then you can say, ”You have been on my mind.  I realize I miss us being together, and I still care very deeply for you. I want to let you know that and ask you your thoughts.” Lives of Style: I met an interesting man online who lives in another city. He emailed me (twice) saying that he’d be in my town in the next 2 days and left his phone number for me to get back to him to arrange a meeting. I didn’t see the email until mid-afternoon on the very day he wanted to meet for coffee. I emailed him, explaining the situation and demurring, while suggesting another window to meet, but should I have just called him at the number he provided? We might have been able to salvage a quick cup of coffee before my date with someone else in the evening.

Laura: You did the best you could at the time, and you did respond to him to let him know that you didn’t see the email until later in that day. The man contacted you knowing he was attempting a very last minute date. If he is mature he will understand that was a risk, and you might not get the message in time or be available at the last minute. You did follow up to let him know you didn’t receive his message in time, and you let him know that you were open to meeting another time in the future. The ball is now in his court to reach out to you again. If another opportunity arises again last minute and you are available to meet then say yes and go.

Lives of Style: I don’t seem to feel chemistry with most of the men I’m dating now. One man-Ron, sizzles, but he’s a flirt and I think he’s a player. He asked me out but I’m frightened about getting attached to him since I’m so attracted to him. How can I say yes without getting “bonded?”

Laura: You have chemistry with this man, which is important, so I suggest you go on the date with him. When he tries to be physical let him know you have traditional values and feel most comfortable dating and getting someone first. Most men who want to just play will show themselves under these boundaries. Also, make sure you continue to date at least two other men. Keeping boundaries with the physicality and dating other men helps with the bonding.

Lives of Style: What do you say to a man who bores you to tears? How do you get away from a dull conversationalist on the phone or in person? 

Laura: If he repeatedly bores you to tears, then it is clear this is not a love connection. You can say, “I want to talk to you about something that may feel sensitive. Is now a good time?” Wait until he says yes. Then you can say, “I have respect for you, and I want to be honest with you. I realize from our conversations that I don’t share interest in the things that you want to talk about, and I don’t want to continue to waste your time.”

Lives of Style: Are there red flags about people who you may meet online that we should all watch for?

Laura: Pay attention to the things that are written on a person’s profile. If you hear information that is different from what they wrote when you speak with him or meet him, which should raise a flag. Lies can be hard to remember or difficult to keep straight, but the truth has consistency. ALWAYS, ALWAYS GOOGLE men you are going to date online to see what comes up. If there is an uneasy feeling or things don’t seem to make sense there are background checks available for fees. Don’t be afraid to do it if you feel uneasy about anything. YOUR SAFETY IS THE FIRST PRIORITY!

ALWAYS meet in a public place where you feel comfortable when first getting to know someone you meet online. Make sure to tell someone close to you where you are, and give them your date’s phone number and first/last name.

MAJOR RED FLAG EXAMPLE: If you are asked out by a man repeatedly for a weekday for lunch, he always pays cash, he only sets up dates in person, and you are only in touch by email or via the online site then you may want to consider that HE’S MARRIED!

While Laura may not be able to email each of you individually, she will answer select questions on her weekly blog.

Remember, log onto http://www.livesofstyle.com/the_last_word/ and email Laura at Laura@livesofstyle.com

 

Both comments and pings are currently closed.

Comments are closed.

Twitter Delicious Facebook Digg Stumbleupon Favorites More